Our mostly Western tradition of making New Year’s resolutions offers a splendid opportunity to pause and reflect on the year that we are leaving behind, and the experiences and lessons that we would like to take with us as well as those of which we would like to let go. Sometimes, however, we can become so focused on “how to do it better this year” that we get invested in doing things and consequently skip over exploring the being part.
And so in honor of this New Years, here are some ideas for resolutions that are more about being than about doing.
- Let’s resolve to ask ourselves more questions this year, and not to only look for answers at every turn like possessed coyotes. Let’s ask ourselves what are our values for real, instead of just what we got used to saying we care about. Let’s ask ourselves if the people we have around us are there just because they have always been there or because we chose them to continue being there. Let’s ask ourselves what was painful this year and just how painful and why. Let’s ask how we loved this year and when we felt fear or doubt. Let’s ask ourselves what are exciting new ways of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then let’s ask ourselves what specifically about that sandwich makes us happy. Why? Because it helps us to really get to know who we are this year instead of just assuming we know because of previous ones!
- Let’s resolve to say “I love you” to the person with whom we sleep, go to the bathroom, brush our teeth, drive to work, take out the trash, binge-watch Netflix shows, read poems, go hiking, make plans to die, and make plans to live—get the picture? It’s you. How about some appreciation for tolerating you when you are obnoxiously angry or annoyingly defensive or overly hysterical? Yup, they’re pretty awesome to take all of your crap. Wouldn’t hurt you to say “I love you” every once in a while.
- Let’s resolve to worry less about achieving and acquiring this year, and more about releasing and letting go—of past resentments, toxic relationships, unneeded clutter—in our homes and our minds, and anything that doesn’t facilitate our sense of freedom and choice.
- Let’s resolve to TAKE IN moments of joy more and snap and post pictures of that moment less. Next time you notice yourself inside one of those moments, see if you could just take a deep breath and scoop that moment up completely and utterly for you. Any food metaphor would work here: scoop it up, drink it in, chew on it, lick your fingers, savor it, get full on it and so on. The point is to really take in the moment for what it is without focusing on capturing it for your next post (which is, by the way, an awesome way to mark important moments MUCH OF TIME, but not always). Just be there for a minute. That’s it.
Lastly, let’s resolve to allow ourselves to make fools of ourselves by trying all the above-mentioned things or alternatively, by fiercely sticking to our “doing” resolutions; anything that features our courage to try new things and our persistence of spirit to try old ones. Let’s resolve to be okay with lame attempts to achieve enlightenment or botched efforts to achieve a perfect body or mind or house; let’s be okay with those because they mean that we are still trying and continue to have faith in ourselves. Hey, these attempts may actually be our way of saying “I love you” (see clause 2).
Bottom line, we all know that New Years for many of us is about experimenting with new ways of doing—so why not experiment with new ways of being? Even if the bravest thing you’ll be this year is that guy who put jalapeños in his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it’s worth it!
Happy New Year!